Cross-Country Ramble 4: Fear, Courage and Foolishness

Sent: 04/02/96

"I hope you're carrying a piece," said a man we met at a roadside cafe this afternoon. The first time we heard this reaction, we were shocked and tried to discuss why the thought of "carrying protection" is almost incomprehensible to us. This time, there was just a little interruption in the flow of our conversation and then we went on to something else. We still haven't figured out how to respond to this. Fear of getting hit by a car or truck is real every day for us, especially when our journey forces us onto heavily traveled roads with shoulders 6 inches wide. But fear of being attacked by persons unknown isn't real for us. I suspect that this says something about both us and those who do feel this fear, but I'm honestly not sure what.

A friend emailed me today, "... all of us who should be doing something adventurous are opting for the easy way out. It looks like you will be setting a precedent for the rest of us. I guess that makes you a role model for the lazy generation."

People seem really impressed with what we're attempting. Many say they admire our courage. The problem for us is that we don't feel very courageous. We do understand that the idea of biking across the country is intimidating. Perhaps that's why the dream of doing so had to grow on us for 25 years. Then, about five years ago, we finally decided to do it. If there was any courage involved, perhaps that was the point at which it was required of us. But once we had made the decision, it was simply a matter of finding a time and a way to make it possible for even us to do it. Last November, when other events in our lives made the trip a possibility it seemed quite natural to just do it.

Our underlying belief is that paying attention to our dreams is important. It's not that we can do all of them, or even very many of them. But some of them, even we can do. I think that if there's anything that might be said of us as role models, it should be, "My God, if they can do it, then anybody can!"

"What a fool!" This is an unspoken comment that I hear with my inner ear. Fear of looking foolish is a fear I carry with me all the time. Most times, I cater to this fear. I am either as careful as possible to avoid revealing my inadequacies, or I do the opposite, going out of my way to play the clown (sort of a preemptive strike). But sometimes I manage to ignore this fear. This is one of those times. It feels good.

A few years back, a colleague shared the following with me. I've internalized much of it, but I think I need to reread it now....

Risk

 

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To play your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow and love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.
Only a person who RISKS...is free.

 

Ken

Ramble 5: First Pass, First Desert.